Here we go again...
Woman faints on the 14th Street Uptown N,R,Q platform. Hits her head hard on the platform. I can still hear that T-H-U-D!!!
I go over and put her feet in my lap. I know first aid. She's pregnant. Didn't eat any breakfast. The woman, not me. Yell for help. Typical New Yorkers stop, gawk, walk away. Now you know why I love people so much.
A man comes over to help. No, not the man from the grapefruit episode, another man. He stays with us until help arrives.
Meanwhile there's some whackadoo woman who somehow got pulled into this drama yelling something about that's how she lost her baby and never could have babies after that. After what, your guess is as good as mine. Didn't have the time to ask. As she's being hysterical, I'm thinking how I am gonna get this looney bin outa here? Lo and behold a local train pulls into the station. I turn to her and say very calmly: "Oh look, your train just pulled in. Hurry up, you don't want to miss it". She actually listened. Can you believe that? Was it her train? Don't know, don't care.
Finally, the EMS, cops, firemen show up and I think I even saw Mayor Guilliani.
All in a NYC day's work!!! I'm exhausted!!!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
This Time it's the #6
OK. So you already know that alot of stuff happens to me on the subway. So why should this entry be different?
One day I was on the #6 local train going to work. As I boarded, I noticed a man who looked as if he were choking on something. I went over to him and asked if he needed assistance. He shook his head no. This should have been the first clue that something was wrong. I could see it coming, so I sat down across from him.
Next thing you know, he comes over to me and motions that he can't breath. So, I turned him around and clopped him on the back five or six times. (Another passenger helped me hold the man up). Next thing you know, a huge and I mean huge wad of grapefruit comes out of his mouth. It looked like something out of the X-Files.
While his pupils were dilating and the color returned to his face, I asked the man if he wanted to go to the doctor or the emergency room. He declined both.
Only goes to prove. Fruit kills.
Pass the potato chips, please.
One day I was on the #6 local train going to work. As I boarded, I noticed a man who looked as if he were choking on something. I went over to him and asked if he needed assistance. He shook his head no. This should have been the first clue that something was wrong. I could see it coming, so I sat down across from him.
Next thing you know, he comes over to me and motions that he can't breath. So, I turned him around and clopped him on the back five or six times. (Another passenger helped me hold the man up). Next thing you know, a huge and I mean huge wad of grapefruit comes out of his mouth. It looked like something out of the X-Files.
While his pupils were dilating and the color returned to his face, I asked the man if he wanted to go to the doctor or the emergency room. He declined both.
Only goes to prove. Fruit kills.
Pass the potato chips, please.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Kevin Bacon Would Plotz
You know that game Six Degrees of Separation that has something to do with Kevin Bacon? Well, I'm totally convinced that in the Jewish community (world-wide) we as a people are separated by One Degree.
I got in touch with a former classmate, Ms. T., whom I haven't seen in 34 years. Yes, 34. Stop doing the math. Yes, 34. Stop asking. I'm positive 34.
Anyways, (as we say on East 14th Street) Ms. T. e-mails me the pictures of her son's Bar-Mitzvah. How old? 13. That's why it's called a BAR-MITZVAH!! So, as all good employees do, I "open" the pictures at work wasting as much time as humanly possible. As I'm looking at them, one of the gentlemen who rents space at the office where I work, comes in my office (if you can call it that) to fax something to his brother. Big deal? Right? Like faxing is such a novelty. I'm telling him I haven't seen my friend in 34 years and he's totally ignoring me as any typical man would until I say: "hey, this man looks just like you". He takes a look at the photo and says: "Yeah, that's my brother!!!" His brother was the officiating rabbi at the Bar-Mitzvah!!!!
Kevin Bacon eat your heart out!!!
I got in touch with a former classmate, Ms. T., whom I haven't seen in 34 years. Yes, 34. Stop doing the math. Yes, 34. Stop asking. I'm positive 34.
Anyways, (as we say on East 14th Street) Ms. T. e-mails me the pictures of her son's Bar-Mitzvah. How old? 13. That's why it's called a BAR-MITZVAH!! So, as all good employees do, I "open" the pictures at work wasting as much time as humanly possible. As I'm looking at them, one of the gentlemen who rents space at the office where I work, comes in my office (if you can call it that) to fax something to his brother. Big deal? Right? Like faxing is such a novelty. I'm telling him I haven't seen my friend in 34 years and he's totally ignoring me as any typical man would until I say: "hey, this man looks just like you". He takes a look at the photo and says: "Yeah, that's my brother!!!" His brother was the officiating rabbi at the Bar-Mitzvah!!!!
Kevin Bacon eat your heart out!!!
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